SEASON 3 · OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED · RELEASE DATE: WHEN YOU'RE READY
99% FAIL.
Jerkmate Ranked is the most unforgiving competitive ladder ever announced. No shortcuts. No luck. No mercy. Only the grind.
Season 3 launches on January 1, 2027 at 00:00 Central European Time.
THE REVEAL
THE NUMBERS
Statistics are projected, invented, and legally binding.
WHERE THE LADDER LEAVES YOU
| Tier | Player Share | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Champion | 0.00 % | Position available |
| Mythic | 0.02 % | Apex Tier |
| Legend | 0.08 % | Apex Tier |
| Grandmaster | 0.27 % | Apex Tier |
| Master | 0.61 % | Apex Tier |
| Diamond | 1.7 % | Divisioned |
| Platinum | 4.1 % | Divisioned |
| Gold | 9.8 % | Divisioned |
| Silver | 22.4 % | Divisioned |
| Bronze | 61.0 % | Divisioned |
WHAT IT TAKES
QUEUE
Enter the queue before the sun rises. Leave it after the sun sets. Repeat.
LOSE
Lose 400 games. Learn nothing. Lose 400 more.
DOUBT
Blame your ping, your chair, your teammates. Then blame yourself.
ASCEND
Reach Champion. Nobody has. This is where you would go.
OFFICIAL PARTNERS
WHAT THEY'RE SAYING
"Terrifyingly competitive."— A Discord moderator, probably
"I queued once. I still think about it."— Anonymous Bronze IV
"The ladder has no top. We checked."— Dactylus Airbus, the bot
FAQ
When can I play?
When the ladder decides you're worthy. Current estimate: never.
Is it free?
It costs everything except money.
Can I skip Bronze?
Nobody skips Bronze. Bronze skips you.
Why is pre-registration full?
Demand. Also, there is no pre-registration.
Is this real?
It's a running joke of a private Discord server. The disappointment is real.